Blindsided breakup betrayal signs reddit. We broke up in an extremely emotional but mature way.
Blindsided breakup betrayal signs reddit. As blindsided as I was, there were signs.
Blindsided breakup betrayal signs reddit s the traumatic wreckage that came with the breakup. Again the worst part of it all is that literally there were signs of any issues. So I have been thinking about this breakup back and forth for 5 months now. 178 votes, 42 comments. It's not you, it's me. People go through things, sure, but he decided to break up with you. It helped. Sadly I made the mistake out reaching out and begging her to take me back. oof, similar situation. That I can help you with. My friend thought it was an out-of-the-blue breakup. The best thing you can do for yourself at this time is to take care of yourself as best you can and distract yourself in a healthy way (go out with friends, cultivate a hobby, etc). I applaud you for taking care of him. He blindsided me and broke promises he made in the breakup and this inconsistency has happened before in the relationship but I am realizing that I used his willingness to work on himself, to go to therapy for his issues and his inability to keep his word when emotionally overwhelmed- I have been taking these as a blindsided by betrayal I’m not even sure what to say, I found out that my best friend had been friends and since developed a close friendship with the man that raped me. He hinted I should look for a job closer to him, when we travelled we got even closer. That morning he sent me a text telling me how I was his favourite person in the world and he couldn’t wait to see me when he got home. I want to eventually come out of this a much stronger, wiser and compassionate person. 5 years together and 2 living together. He left my house after staying for the weekend as we are long distance (were going to be living together in a few months) then decided to break up with me over text while I was working. Understanding Emotional Betrayal Emotional betrayal is often even more painful than physical cheating. Ultimately, ‘we’ need to establish important boundaries for ourselves. Then as time went on, I felt more distant and didn’t know why. i am glad you are done being friendly and are ready to accept the situation and move on. It hurts thinking you were trying your best just for them to still wana leave. You have “talks”, or conversation about fears, or conflicts . If you see it coming, it may be a shock, but you won't be getting blindsided. It's completely natural to feel blindsided and question the validity of the relationship after a breakup. Blindsided Breakup My ex and I were having zero problems leading up to the breakup. it sucks the living shit out of your mental health. I didn’t knew anything about what he thought. He told me he wanted a future with me. She blindsided me with a breakup and did the same thing as your ex. But with a blindsided break-up, your heart is still bare and fully in their hands, you trust them fully as your partner, and they just throw it to the ground and spit on it. idk. In some cases, people may be compromising their integrity, self-respect, and self-esteem, to be friends with an ex partner. When my ex left, I saw it coming. Yea. They chose not to communicate how they truly felt when the feelings were happening. . Some people are really just that selfish. there are so many people out there that are sick and evil, unfortunately some of us do not see this side of them until the relationship is over. Blindsided breakup: I got chronically ill and had to quit working, stay home all the time. It came out of nowhere, but the signs were there. "I think we should break up". TL;DR: You can't do nothing about the blindsided breakup if the person changed. everything was initiated by him and i was extremely cautious to only apply love i felt i was receiving back bc of the history we already had Snow patrol is my favorite band, and I'm going through a pretty rough breakup/betrayal/being blindsided scenario. Some people can be friends, and if that’s what they want good on them. Protecting it. I lost the passion for work for a full month. But nothing made My friend thought it was an out-of-the-blue breakup. Edit: also this breakup was 9 months ago now and I still think about her everyday, so if you're wondering if your ex (who you once believed to be rational until they blindsided you) still thinks about you, chances are that they do Blindsided break up completely broke the trust that we had built. A month prior we had an argument that went on and off for about 3 weeks, but we were able to mutually come to solution to the issue. Here’s what I know for sure about people who deal you a ‘blindsided breakup’: It’s not the case that they just woke up that day and decided to do it. Cheaters truly are just not that smart. He said it didn’t matter to him, he would always be there for me, take care of me, etc. But the thing that made him never look back, was when I asked if he saw a future with me. I (23 yo/F) was in a 6 month relationship (23 yo/M). I can show texts and everything. out of nowhere, he told me he doesn’t think we should live together / or be together because he wants to be serious about his career. Most confusing people in existence. I honestly needed to get back together with my ex in order to be okay with our decision- I didn’t accept it the first time around but knew breaking up was best for us the second time. Blindsided Breakup after 3 years My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me abruptly 2 weeks ago. Sometimes the signs are there but we choose not to see them. That is a true testament to your love for him. She told me that she was thinking for a while if she has feelings/want to be with me, but she talked about marriage and rings last few months before the BU (last time month or two before BU). I understand what you mean by your question, but there's a reason it's called being blindsided. Still, I wouldn’t wish this trauma on anyone. The key to healing from a breakup, especially a blindsided breakup, is growth. Let me tell you I get it. Same thing in spring 2020, him having doubts, in the meantime he moved in with me. So wtf happened? The day of the break up, literally we spoke about her daughter's application and what not. if he knows you were a good person, he Being blindsided by a breakup is one of the most traumatic things I've ever been through. So while I'm not exactly the most experienced person ever when It’s not just the “avoidant ex” you’re getting over, it’. i have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. All I'm left with is regret for begging to someone I knew already didn't care for me. In 2019 I was completely blindsided by the man I swear I was gonna marry. That means they didn’t respect you or the relationship enough to tell you how they felt. Oof, I was just thinking about this today - the red flags that we ignore in the beginning & how, for me, he wasn’t what I wanted, not entirely. She said she needed to find out who she truly is without me in her life, and that we didn't fit together anymore. this happened to me i hate this so much it boils my soul. Blindsided break up and feeling like they just never cared It’s been about a month since my break up… no contact the moment he decided to pull the plug. It's a serious betrayal in my opinion and not how you treat someone you love. I guess that's how I thought it was until he decided to leave me blindsided. We were together for 12 years, we had trips planned for the summer, the week before she (F30) brought me (F30) breakfast to work, we were talking about buying a trailer, and then she did a complete 180, asked for a break, and I later found out she was having an affair with someone who lives ALMOST Like people don’t understand your breakup and just view you as the one who is angry and can’t get over a breakup and the dumper had every right to do what they feel they had to do. but long story short (bc the actual long story is pinned on my account) i (f20) was blindsided and left for another girl by a guy (m22) i was dating. Betrayal chips away at the security and stability that you and your partner should offer each other, and often, it leaves us feeling blindsided. We were best friends, made so many plans together. And then an hour later sends you a text: I am unhappy. The pain and confusion can be overwhelming, and I want you to know that you're not alone in feeling this way. I was blindsided on the break up and I gave into my emotions. ((Context: the breakup was due to him routinely breaking mine and my friends' boundaries and making us uncomfortable, often bringing up group sex scenarios)) After the breakup, we met up to sort of debrief, and I said sure. 48 hours ago we were intimate. Six years gone. g. We had started talking marriage, future, the having kids discussion. Blindsided by breakup after 2 months I met someone on a dating app and had been seeing him 2-3 times per week for almost 2 months. I’ve had other break ups before but none have traumatised me like being blindsided and having to upend my whole life out of the blue. That level of trust slashing is quite something else on the brain lol. i deeply feel the excruciating pain you have, i too just had a breakup with someone who i thought would love me no matter what, but it seems love doesn't always work that way. It's crazy to think he was checking out of the relationship, but still acting like everything is okay and making plans, being cuddly, etc. You were not destined, your love will come, take care. When you're blindsided, you're left stunned and alone, trying to figure out With another type of break-up you can start taking your heart back a little. We’re both 33 and though we didn’t totally discuss our past relationships, I know he’s had serious gfs in the past (most recent relationship ended in February). We talked about our future together and even made plans. in a way, his actions after you guys ended is closure. it’s that simple. For example, a couple seems to be happy together, meeting up to eat and then saying I love you after dinner then go back home. Something about someone who can just do that and mess with someone’s head/emotions so nonchalantly, switch up completely, then not admit to blindsiding is quite literally, sociopathic and toxic. It felt like such a cruel betrayal from someone I had always experienced as tender-hearted and caring. Well, it turns out that "nice" people often blindside their partners because talking about anything that might hurt their feelings feels much harder If you got blindsided with a break up, I’ve come to realize it says much more about them, than it does you. I think there are always signs. Up until the very minute of the break up, he’d been telling me he loved me and planning our future together. It’s validating to talk about how being blindsided like this in a long-term relationship is a unique type of breakup trauma. he said that he was equally as shocked as i was because “God made him do it”. broke up in june, got together again in september, broke up again a few months ago. ETA: Had the talk. I was completely blindsided by my break up. Lemme just say a normal breakup is traumatic but a blindsided breakup is the worst pain I personally have ever felt and I pray no one experiences it Things were going so well but then on our seven months anniversary 3 months ago completely out of nowhere you break up with me. Embrace this time as a chance to rediscover your passions and build a stronger sense of self, free from the constraints of an unhealthy relationship. I’ve been completely blindsided by a breakup, one week telling me shes excited for a future, the day before telling me how much she loves me and appreciates me, 3h before telling me how excited she is to hangout tonight, 30 minutes before laughing, and a stone cold I can’t be in a relationship because I don’t think you’re my person for the last two weeks. A year later a learned a lot and quickly realized after the fact how many flags i missed which would have allowed me to dodge this or at least i can dodge it in the future now. we just moved to a new city last year. but I cant let it. And as I walked down the stairs to meet her, she says it to me. And I've gone through 4 break-ups. Aug 6, 2024 · So, I've had four serious relationships overall. That is telling and showing you one thing and then doing the opposite. To this day, not one indication of him breaking it off. I completely relate to what you It looked like everything was going well after a difficult time, but he then just decided to break up. Don't blame them for taking time to mentally get ready to breakup with the person they have loved and the person that loves them. Normally, you see breakup signs. Adults talk to each other, children run …. I've felt this way for months. I don't think I can do this anymore. i feel like i My ex blindsided me with the breakup and I thought it was only my fault for a good month or so… I just started to realize it may not have entirely been my fault but it's been a struggle to not entirely blame myself. We broke up in an extremely emotional but mature way. It’s gaining the skills and The drastic and violent change in behaviour and the blindsided breakup has caused an extreme level of cognitive distortion and dissonance. I got blindsided twice by the same guy. I was aware that they knew each other but recently saw pictures of them hanging out together last month in a different city. 5 weeks later got back together. Another part of me feels like maybe he was lying to me all this time, and his accusations were actually projections. Unfortunately, he forgot to mention that he’d already begun a new relationship. I'm not sure why blindsighting is such a common way to breakup with someone. Fears, insecurities, and personal unhappiness led my ex to break up with me. hi all i genuinely feel like i am going to die and don’t know what to do. Were together for two more years and I just got blindsided again with he can't account for another person right now but he didn't want to do this he felt like he had to 9 weeks AGREED! blindside breakups out of nowhere are the harshest, most foulest, cruel, and extremely selfish way to end a relationship. Oct 28, 2016 · The pain of rejection in a romantic relationship is strongest when it comes as a surprise. I found reddit too late, I've been dealing with this by myself. You need to internalize the breakup. Unfortunately there isn’t an easy way to heal from a break up like this. One of the songs that really helped is "This isn't everything you are" What other song would you recommend? Some other songs that are helping: "Dermot Kennedy - Better Days" "Ben Howard - Keep your head up" My friend thought it was an out-of-the-blue breakup. You should not change yourself for anyone. Everyone saw the warning signs and those who witnessed it said it was very tame for it to be considered “lashing out” so it was coming. We’d laugh at the “7-year inch” jokes because we knew we would have many more years of our lives together. Wouldnt wish them on my worst enemy. Edit: also this breakup was 9 months ago now and I still think about her everyday, so if you're wondering if your ex (who you once believed to be rational until they blindsided you) still thinks about you, chances are that they do I applaud you for taking care of him. And no one cheats within a vacuum, there were signs, you just missed them. I own up to the lashing out but I don’t apologize for it. leaving you wondering what happened. When I’m reality, in a case like THAT it is betrayal and it is so much harder to get over than the actual breakup if that makes sense? My boyfriend (well now ex) blindsided me with a FaceTime breakup at 2am after 2. Once it all hit a breaking point he felt like he “had” to break up with me because it was all stressing him out too much. It was far harder if a breakup than any long term breakups of the past by a good margain. Maybe the writing’s on the wall because of the way they are behaving. This kind of breakup has the power to absolutely destroy your trust in other people. he was busy a couple days before the breakup but not as in he was trying to shrug me off, he just had plans he had told me about weeks before. Lack of properly communicating and compromising and failing to actually know WHO you are partnering up with are very common causes of being blindsided by infidelity. Being on the receiving end of a blindsided breakup and him moving on so quickly, it feels like I received a left, right, goodnight RIP X_X A blindsided end to a serious relationship is one of the most profound forms of betrayal. I (24F) am in med school and recently (2 weeks ago) broke up with my (26M) boyfriend of 10 months. After a breakup, you have hormonal imbalances, because those happy-hormones are just cut off instantly. I know I still cry over my own breakup, and I think about it every day. Because you think they’re happy but whole time they weren’t. the painful thing is that you thought she would love and care about you forever but actually no, love isn't guaranteed Like yes, this is ONE possible way of how to look at it, ONE way how breakups happen. Then I asked if we can improve on closeness and intimacy and boom it ended just like that. I read this that explains. … Oct 28, 2016 · The partner who is blindsided feels used, confused, and betrayed. I am not saying there is anything wrong with people like myself or my ex who have insecure attachment styles, but just seeing how common this is on reddit and in day-to-day life, just saddens me a little. And I totally felt the love in the beginning too. My ex blindsided me multiple times and I still tried even though each time broke me a little more. Almost all break-ups are painful. I knew things weren’t going well and when he told me I could understand it but he never talked about it in the relationship. "Mari A blindsided breakup is a break up that seems to come out of the blue. I don’t want to hurt somebody else the way he hurt me. And if he is unwilling to discuss further to give me closure, to at least be honest in a text in saying so, instead of ghosting me. Moving forward after a blindsided breakup can be a daunting prospect, but it’s also an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. And it definitely comes from the fact I had a dream about him last night where none of this had happened and he was telling me how he will be with me and support me forever. It was sad but went well. I think it's immaturity on their end. The exact breakup and post breakup realisations I had ( especially covert narc traits ). Some other things, since we broke up he went on a 10 day holiday (but he wouldn’t come be with me on holiday for a week in December), he keeps posting on Instagram where he’s doing my favourite activities (whereas before he’d never post) and I just feel like he’s actively being petty and doing things to hurt me and I’m struggling with Do you have anything you’d wished you’d said in a breakup where you were blindsided? We are talking this evening… I want to end positively with hope of reconciling. It is a premeditated, intentional betrayal, intended to sever the relationship immediately and irreversibly and disallow any real discussion. We even made plans to meet each other's families for Christmas. Dated for two years blindside break up due to his mental health and 10. he says he still loves me so much and this is the hardest thing he’s ever done. First I had to learn about the blindsided breakup and the pain that comes along. I’ve searched up blindsided breakup on reddit and have seen so many of other people’s experiences and a lot of reassurance and insight that reminds me it was not my fault. He didn't break up, talked to his dad who made him see how perfectly we fit together, at least on paper. THAT is betrayal. We end up compromising for love, once we’re in that deep & hurt only ourselves when we do it. I'm truly sorry that you're going through this difficult time. I love the way we loved each other so much and we communicated amazingly and both said we’ve always wanted that and are so happy we finally have it (hence why I was completely blindsided by this). Even if you take care of yourself, these imbalances can happen. It was a horrible blindsided breakup where I was so full in love, she was not. He’s genuinely the sweetest person and our relationship was so loving. etc, but this sort of breakup is not normal. I’m completely in shock and dumbfounded and it’s been 8 1/2 months! I wish I could just forget her, I honestly do. Blindsided doesn’t even feel like a strong enough word for this. i am so sorry that happened to you, he is disgusting and pathetic. It was the best I was ever treated. If you feel blindsided just remember that the feelings of betrayal will fade; it may take a while but they will. It’s kind of seems like he’s going through a quarter life thing and “right people wrong time” to me. Posted by u/Adept_Ad_264 - 1 vote and no comments Anyway, today I'm really really struggling with the feeling of betrayal. Just genders were reversed in my case. It’s so true because in the early stages they commit right away, wanting a relationship, fall in love etc. Jun 5, 2024 · Moving Forward: Life After a Blindsided Breakup. I shared two years of my life with this person and it was the first time I was actually in love. He pursued me. When it first happened I was in such pain for so long and I just couldn't understand the pain I felt as I had previous relationships and even heartbreaks and very sad and stressful events and nothing hit like this breakup did. That’s a character flaw and can only be worked out by them. Acted great until the day before the breakup, he turned cold and changed the subject when I brought up plans for the future like we always talked about. It is real, it has happened, and he didn’t make a mistake. Oct 23, 2024 · In a sense, betrayal means your partner no longer holds the same space in your life they once did. His bottled emotions exploded and the result was completely blindsiding me with a breakup that I had no inkling had even crossed his mind. It’s common to wonder if you’ll be able to feel secure in relationships going forward. But it’s not the breakup that hurts to much, it’s the suddenness, the telling you how much you mean to them one week before, the closeness the night before the breakup. He did it at the weirdest time too- on his birthday, the day after we got home from a trip, and earlier that morning we had booked and paid for another trip. It's been over a year and this is the happiest I have been in a while. Sending love to everyone who’s been through a blindsided breakup. i get confused with my breakup and how i was blindsighted because there were no warning signs at all. But all-in-all, I’m suffering. Many breakup therapy clients feel betrayed, and some even experience betrayal trauma after a blindsided breakup. It's my first break up and we were together for 6 years. Have you been blindsided with a breakup? It’s difficult enough when you sense or know that the end is nigh for your relationship. my ex made it clear that she doesn't want any part of me in her life. Most breakups come after a series of conversations. existential, fear of commitment) or external (e. But the least I’m asking for is some respect after 3 years and help with logistics. Same thing 2021, he was having doubts about the relationship again and I told him, that this happens every year in spring. I Before the breakup the dumper isn’t happy for some reason (they usually do not know themselves), most dumpers do not actually break up with a dumpee for reasons relating to the actual relationship but internal (e. A blindsided end to a serious relationship is one of the most profound forms of betrayal. I knew I was having mental health difficulties as soon as the relationship started - I started birth control, began my first full time placement for grad school, and we started officially dating all on the same day. I just went through a blindsided break up. “Betrayal Trauma” Were you blindsided? Did you break up? She’ll literally like the world is coming to an end and you tried to explain this to your… 25 votes, 25 comments. Putting bandages on it. As blindsided as I was, there were signs. new jobs, friends being single or married, long distance) pressures. Was acting totally normal leading up to it, being sweet with nicknames and sent me a random “I love you” and then dumped me later that same night with no real explanation, unwilling to communicate with me. true. It is is akin to adultery, actually worse in my opinion. i’m sure y’all are tired of seeing me on here lol. One minute you believe everything is fine, and in the next you are blindsided by breakup news. I still hear the "I love you"s ringing in my ears. A blindsided end to a serious relationship is one of the most profound forms of betrayal. I was completely blindsided when he left me, I thought he was having a mental health crisis and he would come back. Same here, got blindsided after 4 years. You don't see it coming. A lot. Of course, I was still so sad that we were breaking up. zuibokgnmmcxizbtddgpvppsgughziouijiiujhxgotsuoqgnnzwogp